This post…
I have written it and deleted it about 10 times. Changed and unchanged my mind. Thought about it, re-thought it. Prayed about it. I finally decided that I should just post it. And I don’t say this to start any kind of drama- that’s just not how I roll. I just want to share how I’m feeling and be completely honest about it. (p.s. I’m really nervous about this!)
I’m not calling myself a vegan anymore.
First of all I’m not planning on changing anything about the way I eat or live my life. That is staying the same- my purpose in living my life is to live in a way that shows compassion and kindness to all animals, human and non-human.
I’m still eating a plant-based diet. I still won’t be buying any leather(though I still do wear the leather things that I already had- I’m a poor college student, I can’t afford to replace it. Plus when I wear it, it reminds me of why I live my life the way I do). Even though, yes, I am technically a vegan I don’t want to call myself one any more.
There are a couple of reasons for this decision…
First of all I’ve found the vegan community to be very judgmental and unkind as a whole. That makes me extremely sad. 
(I’m not saying all vegans are, just what I’ve witnessed in general in the community). I’ve seen people call other people unfathomable names because they’re a “better vegan” than them or because they accidently ate something with milk in it and didn’t realize it until it was too late. Whaa? Yes. And the whole thing with Natalie Portman and Bob Harper?! Goodness. I’ve even found myself starting to think that way a few times and I don’t like that at all. I don’t want to be that person. Especially with the career I’m going into- not every client I have will be willing to transition to a completely plant-based diet and I need to be able to help them without judging them. I want to get away from this mindset- know what I mean?
Another reason is because I feel like I’m being judged All.The.Time. and I’m going insane trying to be perfect. I feel like if I make one mistake I’m going to get blasted and It makes me so tired and sad. I couldn’t even enjoy a vacay with my husband because I was so worried about what I was going to eat the whole cruise. The people at our dinner table watched me like hawks every single bite I ate- it was miserable. And my poor husband- I probably drove him nuts as well. I want to be free to be imperfect and mess up without being judged or made to think that I’m not good enough. When I’m on vacation I don’t want to have to worry myself ragged about driving the waiter insane about the ingredient list to make sure there’s no butter in it. I’m only human and I’m imperfect. I will make mistakes. And I want that to be okay.
I actually decided this quite a while ago and discussed it with the husband, but now that I’m actually putting it out on my blog I feel much much better about the decision. Like I said I’m not planning on changing anything in my diet, but it feels really nice to just relax about it all. I don’t want to be known by a label- I just want to BE!!
Whew!
