Hey there! Today pretty much sucks. I’m not gonna lie.
I went to my training session this morning and we did measurements. I’ve gained several pounds a few inches and three percent body fat.
I got really upset because I’ve been working so hard trying to take some of this weight off. I’m not at a healthy weight and the extra body fat is really getting in my way. I feel like I eat really well about 95 % of the time. I work out 5-6 times a week. I ALWAYS have a calorie deficit of 1,000 or more. I just don’t get it. I feel like I’m busting my ass for nothing here.
Anyway I ended up having a little breakdown about 15 minutes into our session. I could feel myself getting upset, but I was trying to hold it in. I mean I was in a gym full of people. But it just came busting out and I was just sobbing. I think I shocked my poor trainer and she wasn’t sure how to react, lol. She ended up telling me to just go on home and relax a little and that we would make up the session next week. I felt so bad about walking out on the middle of the session, but I knew that I was wasting both of our time by being there while I was so upset.
I’m going to take a little break from calorie counting for the next few days. I think it’s making me crazy. I’ll probably start back on Monday or Tuesday. I think I’m going to go see a doctor as well just to make sure there’s nothing wrong. And my insurance covers a dietician, so I might go see one (I don’t think my food is the problem though, but you never know).
I’ve been getting some crazy headaches too and they just won’t go away. It feels like my brain is being squished.
Today just sucks.
